When my grandfather died six years ago, my dad gave the eulogy at his funeral. In a beautiful address, he shared details of Pop’s life – his upbringing, his faith and his family. Some of it I’d heard before but much of it was new to me.
My Dad then shared something with the friends and family gathered in the church. He said there was no fanfare about his Dad, no drama, no huge success story and no enormous wealth. Instead, he was a man who held his family close, loved a good story, and believed in the benefit of hard work. He was devoted to his wife and together they lived a life of goodness, simplicity, passion and faith. They were surrounded by friends who loved them, family who cherished them and a community who supported them.
“Dad lived an ordinary life. But he lived it in an extraordinary way.”
He had lived an ordinary life – family, work, friends – these were the cornerstones. But he was content. He was happy. He was kind. He was supportive. He was loving. He valued the simple things in life. And he was loved.
Ordinary is Not Boring or Weak.
We are so often told to go big, be bold, live larger, dream higher, be extraordinary… And that to be anything else is to be selling ourselves short.
But amidst the noise of advertising telling us we can break free of ordinariness if only we, “Buy that dress! Have that house! Take that holiday! there is an argument for an ordinary life. A life of deep relationships and love, of giving to others, to your community. A life where you have the time and the energy to be fully present in the lives of your partner, your kids, your friends, your work.
There is value in a life lived quietly, full of contentment, love, play, friends and family.
But What About Dreams? Goals? Aspirations?
Having dreams and goals – even extraordinary ones – isn’t counter to living an ordinary life.
Dreams are wonderful. Sparky and I dream of travelling with our kids, introducing them to the world, experiencing new people and places.
But before we can find happiness in living those dreams, we need to recognise that life is ordinary and to find happiness in that.
If you can’t find joy and contentment in your day-to-day, what makes you think you will be any happier living in the South of France? Or once you’ve run that marathon?
The day-to-day is just that – daily rhythms of work, family, friends, love, responsibility. And instead of constantly battling the ordinariness of those things, we can accept them and find happiness and contentment and joy in them. Because it is enough.
When we are content in our ordinary life, we free up so much energy to embrace opportunity, to be idle and to dream. And that’s when extraordinary things can happen – if you want them to.
What ordinary thing are you thankful for today? Let us know in the comments below – hell, shout it from the rooftops! Because it is enough.
You nailed it again Brooke. There is something very Zen in what you said here.
Dan @ ZenPresence.com
Thanks, Dan! It’s funny, I was thinking of you as I was publishing this – seemed like a post you might relate with.
Hi. I just stumbled upon your blog, but I think it was not by chance. This is exactly what I needed to read today. After running my own business for many years and dreaming big, I chose an ordinary life two years ago to let go and be home, with my kids. It has been such a process in coming to terms with this decision while watching so many of my friends living such huge lives. This is my year of simplicity, of embracing what my life is, making bread, picking kids up from school, having a coffee with a friend and embracing the value of it all. I love what you had to say here, it is the first validation that I have read for this life I have chosen that sincerely speaks to where I am right now, so thank you. Beautifully written.
Catherine, your story is on I can completely relate to. I closed a business down when I was pregnant with our second, and chose to live a simpler life. I felt like a failure for a long while, but eventually discovered – as you are discovering now – that there is so much value in a life of quiet.
Well done to you for making that shift, and I’m glad you found us here! xx
There are so many ordinary things I’m thankful for today. My cup of tea this morning. My car starting when I turned the key. A stress-free morning before we got out the door. The furnace turning on.
I had a grandpa much like yours. He was a butcher. He lived with his wife and children and mother-in-law for most of his adult life. He liked to golf and bowl. He was quiet. At his funeral, people stood in the aisles because the seats were all taken. In the procession to the cemetery, I looked out the back window of our car and the row of headlights stretched beyond my sight. I realized that day that one ordinary person can touch more lives than he or she will probably ever know. He was a quiet, simple, decent man. Maybe that is extraordinary in this world.
How perfect. Enough is my word this year and it has much to do with you. Thank you.
Thanks for this. Today I took a walk with my dog. The temps had risen to the 40s and there was blue sky and sunshine. Very simple things to be happy about and thankful for :)
Thankful for afternoon naps and husband who made lunch :)
This was wonderful. I was just thinking yesterday that I was meant to do more than this (motherhood), but maybe I am not and that is okay.
P.S. I love the name of your blog.
This evening I stood under an Australian summer sky, watching the fruit bats fly to their evening roosts, feeling the cool night breeze on my face…. feeling grateful and at peace. It was enough.
Your blog says it all. Thank you. You are making a difference. xoxo
Loved this article, Brooke. My life is pretty ordinary but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sometimes I feel guilty for not having bigger goals. But I feel like I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing.
[...] The Case for an Ordinary Life [...]
I like a lot what you wrote ! And it’s so strange that we have to struggle now to live an ordinary life ! That’is just what I want to do, where I live… in South of France !
[...] With all this new year dreaming and planning, don’t miss the joy of your ordinary life. [...]
Thank you do much for sharing this. I found your site about a month ago and have enjoyed your perspective on many things.
I found your website from 365Less and this email about ordinary really means something to me. I have a liver transplant (16 years on Mar 2) and some kidney disease and was quite ill last fall. Two hospitalizations totaling 14 days. I mentioned to the nurse that I would just like my ordinary day back. That there was something to be said for getting up and going to work, coming home, making dinner, reading for a while and going to bed and starting over the next day. Being sick for an extended period of time is wearing and you begin to feel like you will never recover. Reading this note about ordinary really makes me appreciate my regular, ordinary life and not need fireworks going off and lots of excitement. Ordinary – Very good!
I love this Maggie. You have wisdom that’s been hard-won. Thank you for sharing it with us. xx